Thursday, May 29, 2008

the useless news

about a year ago we did a series in fusion called affluenza. as part of it, we made a short faux-newsreel called the useless news. it was awful...but the script was funny (see below).

USELESS NEWS: the disturbing facts about destructive business practices (like you care)

1. governor granholm has recently announced her $92 million savings plan for the state of michigan, terminating the employment of 500 prison guards thereby setting 5100 non-violent prisoners free. this is a new move in the line of disposable products offered by the state of michigan including: disposable razors, disposable diapers, and now disposable personal safety.

2. 50 million domestic animals were killed in the united states in 2006 including the possum which, according to michigan native BUBBA is the other white meat

3. according to a UN report the global warming outlook is much worse than they originally predicted...which is pretty bad when they originally predicted it would destroy the planet. president bush, though, has a plan. he says if we need to, we can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from fahrenheit to celsius

experts, however, say that global warming is serious, and they are now predicting that by the year 2050 jackson will be out of party ice


  1. It's tragic that the party in Jackson will cease in only 42 years! Ha!

  2. nice. terrible, funny, and should have been used.