about a year ago we did a series in fusion called affluenza. as part of it, we made a short faux-newsreel called the useless news. it was awful...but the script was funny (see below).
USELESS NEWS: the disturbing facts about destructive business practices (like you care)
1. governor granholm has recently announced her $92 million savings plan for the state of michigan, terminating the employment of 500 prison guards thereby setting 5100 non-violent prisoners free. this is a new move in the line of disposable products offered by the state of michigan including: disposable razors, disposable diapers, and now disposable personal safety.
2. 50 million domestic animals were killed in the united states in 2006 including the possum which, according to michigan native BUBBA is the other white meat
3. according to a UN report the global warming outlook is much worse than they originally predicted...which is pretty bad when they originally predicted it would destroy the planet. president bush, though, has a plan. he says if we need to, we can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from fahrenheit to celsius
experts, however, say that global warming is serious, and they are now predicting that by the year 2050 jackson will be out of party ice
Thursday, May 29, 2008
flv to psp
i recently purchased a sony psp and have been stymied trying to find out how to put youtube videos (which are formatted as .flv files) onto my psp.
there are few tutorials on how to do this well...most involve buying software from some strange russian porn sites or nigerian piracy palaces...and none of them are reviewed well and/or claim to work all the time.
but i have found a simple way to make sure any .flv file works all of the time on any psp slim and i thought i'd share it.
1. download the firefox browser extension "download helper" and install it
2. go to youtube and load whichever video you want to download and click on the download helper icon...this will download the file as an .flv to your pc or mac
3. purchase quick time pro (which, imo, is the best file conversion software on the net) and open you .flv file in qt
4. export you .flv as an mpeg4, making sure the output resolution is 320x240
5. transfer the new mpeg4 file onto your psp and - viola! - you're in business
notes:
a. you can use a bunch of different web tools to download .flvs, but i prefer download helper because it works all the time
b. you have to have quick time pro to open .flv files
c. you have to have quick time pro to export
d. if you export at the default mpeg4 settings from quick time the file will not work on the psp - they have to be 320x240 (default is 368x25?)
e. when you load the mpeg4 onto your psp you will get 2 files in your video folder...the 1st will be a "corrupted data" file which you can safely erase; the second will be the actual, working mpeg4
feel free to ask any questions if you like...this sort of thing usually isn't my schtick, but i was so frustrated looking for a solution i thought i'd share my findings
btw - i am a holy man, so please don't ask any weird "how to" questions about "nefarious" web activity :)
there are few tutorials on how to do this well...most involve buying software from some strange russian porn sites or nigerian piracy palaces...and none of them are reviewed well and/or claim to work all the time.
but i have found a simple way to make sure any .flv file works all of the time on any psp slim and i thought i'd share it.
1. download the firefox browser extension "download helper" and install it
2. go to youtube and load whichever video you want to download and click on the download helper icon...this will download the file as an .flv to your pc or mac
3. purchase quick time pro (which, imo, is the best file conversion software on the net) and open you .flv file in qt
4. export you .flv as an mpeg4, making sure the output resolution is 320x240
5. transfer the new mpeg4 file onto your psp and - viola! - you're in business
notes:
a. you can use a bunch of different web tools to download .flvs, but i prefer download helper because it works all the time
b. you have to have quick time pro to open .flv files
c. you have to have quick time pro to export
d. if you export at the default mpeg4 settings from quick time the file will not work on the psp - they have to be 320x240 (default is 368x25?)
e. when you load the mpeg4 onto your psp you will get 2 files in your video folder...the 1st will be a "corrupted data" file which you can safely erase; the second will be the actual, working mpeg4
feel free to ask any questions if you like...this sort of thing usually isn't my schtick, but i was so frustrated looking for a solution i thought i'd share my findings
btw - i am a holy man, so please don't ask any weird "how to" questions about "nefarious" web activity :)
Sunday, May 25, 2008
god - give me purpose
God –
I confess I have complained about this world,
About my life,
And about your seeming indifference to them both.
I have drifted through my days
Giving little care to why I’m alive or who I’m supposed to be in you.
But I feel your Spirit convicting me of my aimlessness.
I feel like you are now energizing me with clarity
On these big issues.
And though the task is too great for me to change the world
And though my task to affect my own world, too, seems equally impossible
I feel confident in you that I should try.
Even though I will fail
I feel empowered to try
And try
And try
To stand against evil
To celebrate goodness wherever it is found
To honor and authenticate your image in others
And in myself
And – in whatever small ways are possible – to set this world to rights.
I ask for the strength to keep believing that I’m worth something.
I ask for the innocence to keep living like it makes a difference.
I ask for mercy, to demonstrate your concern to this world.
Amen
I confess I have complained about this world,
About my life,
And about your seeming indifference to them both.
I have drifted through my days
Giving little care to why I’m alive or who I’m supposed to be in you.
But I feel your Spirit convicting me of my aimlessness.
I feel like you are now energizing me with clarity
On these big issues.
And though the task is too great for me to change the world
And though my task to affect my own world, too, seems equally impossible
I feel confident in you that I should try.
Even though I will fail
I feel empowered to try
And try
And try
To stand against evil
To celebrate goodness wherever it is found
To honor and authenticate your image in others
And in myself
And – in whatever small ways are possible – to set this world to rights.
I ask for the strength to keep believing that I’m worth something.
I ask for the innocence to keep living like it makes a difference.
I ask for mercy, to demonstrate your concern to this world.
Amen
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
city of blinding lights
i'm home for a conference right now, staying in the hyatt in downtown vancouver.
it's just like it should be: miserably rainy, overcast, and cool.
just like i remember it
just like everyone who's not from vancouver is disappointed to discover
i spent some time with my great friends last night
laughing and talking about everything from film to crime to theatre to video games and jesus
first at a coffee shop, then at the cactus club, then at red robin for desert
how fun!
it's an amazing privilege to be here and i take it as a gift from god that i was able to work out my schedule to come.
carmel and the kids join me friday and we spend the weekend with mom and dad before heading south to seattle for a family reunion.
it's just like it should be: miserably rainy, overcast, and cool.
just like i remember it
just like everyone who's not from vancouver is disappointed to discover
i spent some time with my great friends last night
laughing and talking about everything from film to crime to theatre to video games and jesus
first at a coffee shop, then at the cactus club, then at red robin for desert
how fun!
it's an amazing privilege to be here and i take it as a gift from god that i was able to work out my schedule to come.
carmel and the kids join me friday and we spend the weekend with mom and dad before heading south to seattle for a family reunion.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
jesus, make me free
God –
I have been a kind of slave for too long.
Whether willingly or accidentally,
I have been made a hostage to my own desires,
My own selfishness,
And my own deterioration.
I cannot escape on my own,
But I want to be free.
Please release me
From the bonds of my addictions,
From the chains of my sin,
And from the cell of my thoughts.
Instead of being bound by evil
I willingly bind myself to you.
I would call you Master
And make myself your slave;
But you have called me friend instead,
So I wholeheartedly accept your friendship
And the freedom you have offered with it.
Help me to live free
And never to wander back into the place of imprisonment again.
Amen
I have been a kind of slave for too long.
Whether willingly or accidentally,
I have been made a hostage to my own desires,
My own selfishness,
And my own deterioration.
I cannot escape on my own,
But I want to be free.
Please release me
From the bonds of my addictions,
From the chains of my sin,
And from the cell of my thoughts.
Instead of being bound by evil
I willingly bind myself to you.
I would call you Master
And make myself your slave;
But you have called me friend instead,
So I wholeheartedly accept your friendship
And the freedom you have offered with it.
Help me to live free
And never to wander back into the place of imprisonment again.
Amen
more on monsters
oops...
i almost forget
the whole reason i started writing about monsters is because of the stories included in this current fusion series "images of atonement"
to help my son "get" all of the different ways that jesus makes us right with god i've written stories.
some of these are spooky...like the harmatore (which we'll tell in fusion today).
some parents get a little jittery when we create a monster story to illustrate atonement theology. i get why this is, but i'm still trading on the len-sweet-spiderwick-don't-insulate-your-kids-from-monsters philosophy (which, if you recall, is turning out very well so far).
the harmatore has become jake's favorite story, and - perhaps better than anything "smart" and or "big-peopley" - helps him understand the triumph of jesus christ over the powers of evil and the freedom that triumphs makes available to us all.
i almost forget
the whole reason i started writing about monsters is because of the stories included in this current fusion series "images of atonement"
to help my son "get" all of the different ways that jesus makes us right with god i've written stories.
some of these are spooky...like the harmatore (which we'll tell in fusion today).
some parents get a little jittery when we create a monster story to illustrate atonement theology. i get why this is, but i'm still trading on the len-sweet-spiderwick-don't-insulate-your-kids-from-monsters philosophy (which, if you recall, is turning out very well so far).
the harmatore has become jake's favorite story, and - perhaps better than anything "smart" and or "big-peopley" - helps him understand the triumph of jesus christ over the powers of evil and the freedom that triumphs makes available to us all.
monsters for children
one of the most provocative things len sweet has said to me is that we rob our children of monsters.
the natural reaction of most parents is to protect our children from anything scary; but, according to len, whenever we remove anything scary we also remove any opportunity for heroism, bravery, courage, or nobility.
that's not to say that we should scare the crap out of kids for jesus, just that we too often take it to the other extreme and try and insulate them from any emotion other than snuggly-kootchie.
taking his advice, i've begun reading more broadly to jake at night. we used to just read thomas or bob the builder, but now we read the spiderwick chronicles. for many parents this is WAAAAYY too much for a young guy to handle, but jake and i take our time and talk through all the bothersome bits.
as a result, he has the best theology: jesus keeps the monsters away
monsters (and evil) exist
and the threat of their presence is real
but great still than any monster (or any evil) is the real presence of jesus christ living in our hearts
how cool is that?
my kid lives from the center of christus victor (if only it were as easy for his old man)
it's cool, too, that it has changed our reading of the scriptures.
we used to read the kids' bibles you can get at your local christian bookseller.
now we're reading an illustrated copy of the message. it's the actual message text (for adults), but illustrated with cool pics for little dudes.
what's fascinating is how differently we read scripture now. the actual biblical text is so much more raw and scary than the kids' bibles (take, for example, the story of noah...you can guess how different that is) that i don't think jake could've coped with it apart from our prep with spiderwick.
ha!
spiderwick as a pre-scriptural primer.
who'd've thunk it!
the natural reaction of most parents is to protect our children from anything scary; but, according to len, whenever we remove anything scary we also remove any opportunity for heroism, bravery, courage, or nobility.
that's not to say that we should scare the crap out of kids for jesus, just that we too often take it to the other extreme and try and insulate them from any emotion other than snuggly-kootchie.
taking his advice, i've begun reading more broadly to jake at night. we used to just read thomas or bob the builder, but now we read the spiderwick chronicles. for many parents this is WAAAAYY too much for a young guy to handle, but jake and i take our time and talk through all the bothersome bits.
as a result, he has the best theology: jesus keeps the monsters away
monsters (and evil) exist
and the threat of their presence is real
but great still than any monster (or any evil) is the real presence of jesus christ living in our hearts
how cool is that?
my kid lives from the center of christus victor (if only it were as easy for his old man)
it's cool, too, that it has changed our reading of the scriptures.
we used to read the kids' bibles you can get at your local christian bookseller.
now we're reading an illustrated copy of the message. it's the actual message text (for adults), but illustrated with cool pics for little dudes.
what's fascinating is how differently we read scripture now. the actual biblical text is so much more raw and scary than the kids' bibles (take, for example, the story of noah...you can guess how different that is) that i don't think jake could've coped with it apart from our prep with spiderwick.
ha!
spiderwick as a pre-scriptural primer.
who'd've thunk it!
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