x-files movie the worst ever

i love the x-files

i've watched every episode. i've fantasized about having 'i want to believe' tattooed on my back.

i even thought gillian anderson was pretty when she had SHORT hair (that, btw, makes me a true believer)

but this movie is the worst movie ever. it's almost as bad as learning that Jvo sang karaoke Billy Joel to the crowd at lollapalooza ("uptown girl"...seriously, dude, we need to have a talk about what kinds of things are gay).

anyway,
x-files has the following dumb-ness en force:

* a pedophile priest...
* who brings mulder and scully out of their 10-yr affair in a shack in the woods...
* via his god-given visions of dismemberment...
* which leads to a woe-begotten tale of a same sex marriage gone wrong...
* because husband #1 is dying...
* and requires husband #2, who is a russian (of course) scientist (of course x2) to save his life...
* through means of his top-secret head-transplant research (yup, you saw that correctly)...
* which has so far only been successful on dogs (oh yeah, there is a two-headed(double the success) guard dog in here that bites mulder, presumably for having a beard that looks like big bob's baptist church threw away after using it for joseph at christmas)...
* but they're stopped just in the knick of time so that mulder and scully can look longingly at other failed tv show pilots and b-movies


my favorite part? the fact that husband #2 transplants husband #1's head onto the body of a women, as if to say "i really, really love you, man...but maybe i'd prefer your wiskers if they were attached to breasts"

do not go see this stupid movie.